A Very Good Day!

 My God, my Adored One, my King, my Desire! What tongue can voice my thanks to Thee? I was heedless, Thou didst awaken me. I had turned back from Thee, Thou didst graciously aid me to turn towards Thee. I was as one dead, Thou didst quicken me with the water of life. I was withered, Thou didst revive me with the heavenly stream of Thine utterance which hath flowed forth from the Pen of the All-Merciful.

  Baha'u'llah

Monday was a Very Good Day! (Actually so was Sunday as well). I spent these two days with my sweet wife, celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary! 18 years is a long time....it feels like an entire lifetime, and it is hard to actually feel much connection back to the days before I met her! But if the past 18 years with Lauretta have done anything for me, they have helped me to look forward.....to paraphrase Buzz Lightyear, "To Eternity and Beyond!" Can't wait for all the good stuff that lies ahead for us!

On Monday I also had my monthly doctor visit, where they confirm that I am not yet dead. I had been kind of nervous about this appointment because I would be getting some important labwork back that would show how my body was continuing to respond to treatment. Each step of treatment you need to meet specific goals in order to be allowed to continue on. Every day I talk with people who are discontinued because they are not responding fast enough or their body simply cannot take the stress of the therapy. I suspect that this fear always bounces around in the back of everyone's mind who is doing treatment. I think the meds, which increase agitation, anxiety and depression, tend to magnify this lack of confidence at times.

Anyways.......I so easily go off on a tangent........

Monday at 1:30 PM my Nurse Practitioner, Melissa Loos, walked into the room, shook my hand, wished me a Happy New Year, and then smiled and said, "you are undetectable"! UNDETECTABLE!!! (Sounds like I am invisible....but it is even better!!!!!) This means that my viral load that started out over 15 million i/u per ml is now less than 43 i/u ml.....a level so low that the equipment cannot detect it! Hence the term "UNDETECTABLE." I got her to give me my own copy of the lab report so that I can say, " I am certifiably undetectable"!

I hear you saying, "so that means that your done with treatment....you have beat Hepatitis C. Right Rus?"

And I scuff the dirt with my feet and look you in the eyes and answer, "No....this virus is so insidious that even after you have cleared it from your bloodstream you need to keep taking the chemotherapy for an additional 36 weeks". I think that this is just to help us develop strength and character ;) .  Even after that I still will have to wait for several months and see if the virus tries to rear it's ugly head again (but after the way I treated it last time you would think it should not better)!

But for now... the great news is that I am officially undetectable!!!!! My body is healing and my internal organs are recovering after years of constant assault from the virus. Though I am still struggling with the side effects of treatment I feel surrounded by love and mercy.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying on behalf of myself and our family! Please continue to keep us in your prayers as we learn to work our way through the spiritual and materially challenges that this process provides to our family. Sometimes we forget that this is a blessing that can help us grow closer together, but other times I know we all feel it! Like on Monday.....which we all knew
was a Very Good Day!

Just Breathe....somedays it is harder than others...

 Here is a link to one of  the most moving songs that I have recently encountered, reminding me that "music is a ladder of the soul"
 Eddy Vedder and the boys of Pearl Jam want to lift you higher:
Pearl Jam-Just Breathe

Inspiration.... Where have you gone?

It has been awhile since I have posted anything on the blog. This is due to the fact that this blog springs from inspiration, and if treatment has done anything to me recently, it has left me feeling uninspired. Over the past month I feel like I have been merely in "survival" mode, struggling hard to keep up with the world around me. I would say that typically I am an upbeat and easy-going person, but lately I feel tired and worn down. Ironically at the same time as being fatigued I am often completely wired...like bouncing off the ceiling...wired and sleep at night is elusive. I had about three weeks of what seemed like non-stop nausea, however thankfully this seems to be passing! One of the side-effects of treatment is that it pushes your white blood cells extremely low, making you susceptible to other illnesses and infection. I ended up with a whopping infection in my mouth that required emergency dental care and antibiotics.  Anyways....enough whining from me......

On a much more uplifting note.....I have been riding my bike a little (on the trainer). I can spend up to 25 minutes at a time, but typically it is closer to 10.....but still this is something. I am hoping that soon I will begin to be able to spend longer on the bike. I need to get to the point where I am capable of riding 15 miles in a day again pretty soon in order to be prepared for the Fall Ride to Myrtle Beach. I have received a bunch of inquiries from others who want to join us...which is awesome!

Along this line I had 300 silicone bracelets made that are red and yellow and say "Stop Hepatitis C !" I am hoping that through donations I can generate some funds so that the bike ride can really raise awareness in the South Carolina Lowcountry. Send me an email with your address if you would like information about getting one (or more) of the bracelets. Please take this opportunity to learn more about Hepatitis C and to help to educate others.

In closing this post I would like to thank all my friends and family for your love and support during what has felt like one of the darkest times of my life. Even now I feel so blessed to have a deep faith in God and a belief that even the dark times in our lives contain great meaning and opportunities for spiritual growth. I am grateful that I have a source of inspiration which provides me a place to turn to sort out these trying times.


"As to your question concerning the meaning of physical suffering and its relation to mental and spiritual healing. Physical pain is a necessary accompaniment of all human existence, and as such is unavoidable. As long as there will be life on earth, there will be also suffering, in various forms and degrees. But suffering, although an inescapable reality, can nevertheless be utilized as a means for the attainment of happiness. This is the interpretation given to it by all the prophets and saints who, in the midst of severe tests and trials, felt happy and joyous and experienced what is best and holiest in life. Suffering is both a reminder and a guide. It stimulates us to better adapt ourselves to our environmental conditions, and thus leads the way to self- improvement. In every suffering one can find a meaning and a wisdom. But it is not always easy to find the secret of that wisdom. It is sometimes only when all our suffering has passed that we become aware of its usefulness. What man considers to be evil turns often to be a cause of infinite blessings."

-Shoghi Effendi