The Dangers of Traveling Alone

I know that at least some of you are saying.."why are you doing this....why are you blogging about this stuff?"
Over the past several weeks I have prayed, meditated, consulted with my wife and others in an effort to determine how best to handle this situation and to not simply endure, but to fully embrace it. My only real frame of reference is my experience recovering from drug and alcohol addiction. By accepting the fact that I was an alcoholic and addict in 1989 I was able to begin the healing process. I quickly became part of a community as I began to reach out to others who were also trying to escape from destructive patterns of behavior. While I initially connected primarily with people who were coping with similar experiences, I gradually recognized that while we each have our own daily struggles, we all have our own daily struggles. Suffering and hardships are an important part of the human experience and in fact strengthen our character and our connection with God.

O SON OF MAN! For everything there is a sign. The sign of love is fortitude under My decree and patience under My trials.

-Baha'u'llah

Often we feel that our hardships are ours alone and we fail to realize that they cause us to rely on each other. I don’t believe that this is an accident; God wants us to rely on each other. It was only when I had been beaten into submission from drugs and alcohol that I was ready to ask God for help. God came through! This experience also required me to ask others around me for help, something that was not particularly easy for me. They came through as well! Although I did not realize it at the time, my mind and heart were being opened up to an entirely new reality; one which has been much more fulfilling than I could have ever envisioned! My struggle with addiction, which at one time isolated me from those around me, connected me to the people around me at a very profound level. Unless and until I was willing and able to admit that I needed help could I get any help and begin to experience a sense of unity with other people.

In trying to figure out how best to cope with the recent news that I have a chronic disease, my first impulse was to try to hide this from others. I was fearful and embarrassed, afraid that others would think less of me. Within a couple days I quickly realized that by trying to keep a “secret” from everyone around me, I had to build walls and remain guarded with everyone that I spoke to. If I told someone, and then asked that they not tell anyone else, I was putting them in a challenging position. At times I felt like I was not being honest with people around me, as I was giving vague and half true answers to my friends and family members. I believe that truthfulness (even if it makes us a little uncomfortable) is the cornerstone upon which healthy individuals, families and societies are built.

Truthfulness is the foundation of all the virtues of the world of humanity. Without truthfulness, progress and success in all of the worlds of God are impossible for a soul. When this holy attribute is established in man, all the divine qualities will also become realized.

-Abdu'l-Baha

Based on these two realizations; the universal nature of hardships and the importance of truthfulness, I decided that the proper response to being diagnosed with a life threatening disease is to talk about it openly and honestly. I believe that such an approach has two potential benefits. The first is that I think that it is the healthiest and most healing approach for me personally. I (and my family) can benefit from the support and prayers of friends and family around us. Secondly, and more importantly I fervently pray that at least one other person can be inspired to reach out to those around them and ask for help in coping with the hardships of their life. I hope that through this I can be able to support those around me as well.

The scary things in life are always scarier when we feel alone. This blog is a humble effort to encourage an ever-widening circle of love, in hopes that none of us will ever feel that we are traveling alone.